- In the interest of keeping their comfort meter needle
from swinging into the red zone, the angst-ridden have determined that
unpleasant realities about our leaders are better left unsaid. Their injunction
is noted - and repudiated. Saying unkind words about unkind people is no
less than an obligation of citizenship. Hence, I persevere.
- One can hardly begin better than by saying Bill Clinton
is, in every particular, a villainous sonofabitch. Repeating it should
only be inhibited by the limitations of one's fundamental energy. The responses
to that assertion are not terribly significant. Liberals will shake their
heads negatively, conservatives nod will their heads affirmatively, and
moderates will wobble their crania like those little puppets that keep
watch out of the rear window of a migrant worker's family sedan.
- In Bill Clinton we speak of someone who has a black belt
in lying, and who needs a pooper-scooper to collect his thoughts. Any political
statement that passes his lips is like a zircon engagement ring - gaudy,
valueless, and by itself, legally non-binding. Irrespective of Clinton's
sniveling about his stamp on history, he knows critics cannot damage his
reputation by dragging it through the mud, which is, after all, its natural
element. A case can be made, the Clinton legacy is the beginning of the
end of civilization, except in Arkansas where civilization found the indigenous
subspecies uncongenial. As "techs" say of computers that balk
at certain programs, "They don't like each other." Consider some
of these defining elements that will cause the Clinton interlude to go
down as a potty break in American history:
- - tax measures, which would make George lll blush - politically
correct restraints on speech which are giving the First Amendment a hysterectomy
with a wire hanger - a double-think glossary designed to that subvert all
honorable discourse - deploying White House attorneys to snipe at the Constitution
from boilerplate duck blinds - clogging the cultural plumbing by endowing
obscene art and aboriginal music - religious hypocrisy that could inspire
a protest that would cause the Christians interred in the catacombs to
rise up in protest for a Million Martyr March - neutering Congress - gun
control encroachment edging toward fascist confiscation - encouraging Janet
Reno to cover up everything but not her face - kamikaze trade agreements
- converting the UN into from a conference to a global conspiracy - playing
the saxophone so villainously as to constitute a felony and, most famously
- - a serial sexual deviancy, most notably with Monica Lewinsky, who resembles
a flesh-eating bacterium known to settle in the lap. [Note: Clinton's personal
success has been in diverting attention from his pecker-dillos by providing
a body count among such formidable tribes as Somalians, Sudanese, Kosovars,
Serbians, and Waco-ites. In the course of these diversions, Clinton and
Gore "smoked" more people than Brown and Williamson. Do the math.]
- Clinton has experienced no trouble convincing discontented
ladies they are not a gender, but a separate species who have come among
us to have their apples polished in executive boardrooms, but not in the
Oval Office where he treats them as seminal receptacles. Bubba uses women
as either casual conquests or couriers. At the appropriate moment he will
dispatch Donna Shalala to tell Satan its about time he raised the minimum
wage for the damned. As with all of Clinton's lady fetch-and-carry feminists,
Shalala would be the one to "take the heat" - not Bubba. Clinton
has the survival instinct of a house rat, who, finding cheese in short
supply, can live out his normal life span by gnawing at the insulation
of electric wiring.
- THE RECIPIENT CLASS
- Admittedly, no one has Clinton's knack for merchandising
poverty with which he has created his power base, and has blackmailed the
rest of America into providing it with nourishment. For political redistricting
advantages, Bill Clinton excavated through the permanent underclass to
find (and consolidate) a perpetual underclass. He has manipulated the earlier
inhabitant majority into sponsoring a population of people who don't look
like them, wear their caps backward, and have spooky table manners. Few
anticipated there was so much political prosperity to be extracted by keeping
the feckless and indolent from being inconvenienced. For them, he is President
William Jefferson Rumpelstiltskin, who spins straw into welfare checks.
Clinton could not have become the prosperous criminal he is without the
ignorant, greedy, constituency, which he maintains on a navigational heading
for a racial collision course. (One wonders how long this pandering President
would have retained as Secretary of State Madeleine Albright if he could
have found one named Madeleine Allblack.)
- Clinton is known not only by the friends he keeps but
by the hoi polloi that supports him, a rabble no less ignoble nor less
mephitic than those who supported any other despot in history. It postulates,
"If it walks like a fascist, and talks like a fascist, it isn't a
duck." Barring the success of a Clinton coup, already simmering, the
long Chinese nuclear secret pushcart sale by the cabal in White House approaches
the time to say, "It's a wrap!" This will bring with it the real
test of Clinton's political ingenuity, his ability to make the eight years
in office and the party dip of corruption he had whipped up for it come
out even. Consistently, he will conduct a final inventory of the bordello
he has made of the White House, in order to get his last few "free
landings" on the merchandise.
- Knowing Bill Clinton will soon be the nation's Defector
Emeritus, the media, in full-throated lament, and ever susceptible to his
boyish "rapist-next-door" charm, continues to remind us daily
that Bill Clinton is "still a relatively young man." To put it
another way, Bubba still has lots of "cess" left in his pool.
- If the past is prologue, public apathy will continue
for no other reason than news of all this dissolution will continue to
be suppressed by the media. When historians search for redeeming aspects
of these past seven years, it will annotate that Bill Clinton only betrayed
his country, while the media betrayed the truth.
- Clinton's most indispensable support comes from a made-to-order
cowardly opposition, the Republican Quitter Corps that delivers capitulations
like pizzas. It will be remembered they scouted up Independent (read: "Impotent")
Counsel Kenneth Starr (currently in Africa unable to decide whether or
not to prosecute a zebra for having a checkered past.)
- Ronald Reagan's eleventh commandment about not speaking
ill of another Republican they have duly lip serviced, but they have not
jettisoned their cannibal inclination to consume each other. While the
worst criminal in the history of this nation scurries across the Oval Office
floor like a loathsome spider, the GOP, Rush Limbaugh, and the Woodstock
generation assume John McCain was provided by karma for people who missed
the opportunity to knee a returning Viet Nam veteran in the groin as he
got off the plane.
- The Democrat Party has its descending colon in a kink
because the NRA's Wayne La Pierre cited the obvious - that any calamity
that puts blood in the political waters draws Clinton and his piranhas
to it with lobster bibs and spoons.
- Characteristically of bleeding-heart liberals, it is
immaterial to Jimmy Carter how many laborers died of fever in the swamps
of Panama so that he (officiating on behalf of the Traitor-in-Chief, Bill
Clinton) could give the Communist Chinese the right to decide who can piss
in an intercontinental waterway built with American blood and treasure.
For his services, the Chicoms gave Carter the right to go skinny dipping
in the locks - up until the inevitable war between China and the U.S.,
breaks out, or Tuesday (whichever comes first). We are informed, Carter's
next missions will be the signing over to Yasir Arafat of the Second Trust
Deed to the Garden of Eden followed by the re-surrender of the Alamo to
a reconnaissance-in-force by a mariachi strum and twang corps.
- Most shamefully, but appropriately, it will fall to Carter,
as an Annapolis graduate, to throw in the opening towel at all Army-Navy
football games and cede victory to the Black Knights of the Hudson before
the first snap of the football. One is inclined to believe, on the day
Carter received his commission from the Naval Academy the statue of Tecumseh
wept granite tears.
- Fears of confiscation will cause the number of guns and
in private hands and resistance to registering them to increase exponentially.
All that it will prove is that guns should be kept out of the hands of
criminals, Democrats and other dangerous nitwits.
- One cannot consider this Arkansas bumpkin a driving force
of the global conspiracy that is selling out the nation - so long programmed.
It matters not whether a conspiracy, or even several, is directing the
Clinton treason, though he does bring a vicious enthusiasm to the enterprise.
No one can be more winning when this easily bribable President talks trade
and means treachery. One easily understands why the Number One pop tune
on the Chinese charts is, "How much is that pussy in the White House?"
Indeed, the only difference between Beijing Bill and WW II traitor Tokyo
Rose is that infamous anti-America radio propagandist did not pass any
of our military secrets to the enemy.
- Bubba's post-Presidency future is already mapped out.
There is the inevitable biography, "Bill Clinton: The Treason Years",
redolent with fond reminisces of the innumerable perfidies he committed
while in office. He is said to be scheduled as the first guest on a new
television show entitled "Celebrity Turncoats."
- The Clinton legacy is that the unthinkable is now to
be thought. His duplicity has contrived matters so that in a quick-key
world where everything happens in the life flicker of a quark, (if not
sooner), the only prospect that could be worse than America accidentally
starting World War III is waiting for China to start it.
- As soon as The Clinton Library is completed, it should
be encased in cement, like Chernobyl ("Look at me. I'm melting!")
nuclear reactor, though it is doubtful that the concrete sarcophagus can
contain Bubba's toxic elements. (In a pilot project, it was tried unsuccessfully
on an Arkansas outhouse, which not only leaked noxious odors but also glowed
in the dark.)
- It is time to end this bullshit legend the media has
made up of whole cloth that Clinton is a political genius. Rather he is
someone with an extraordinary capacity to improvise great evils under the
averted gaze of a spectacularly dishonest media and the inattention of
a Senate that is, at best, an inexhaustible well of moral mildew.
- Clinton anticipates that by a presidential order, already
signed, his death will not be fatal, so that he may be alive to witness
for himself the glorious ceremony of being interred in Arlington Cemetery
with full military honors. More than likely Bubba's remains will be deposited
in a pothole on an Arkansas truck route, with Taps being hummed into a
kazoo while Larry Flynt does "wheelies" on the lid of his casket.
- Honor demands all evidence that Clinton existed should
be obliterated. Not only should Arkansas take away his law license, but
also it should revoke his birth certificate and confiscate his navel. No
need to burn his draft card. He took care of that himself many years ago.
There is nothing wrong in America that could not be improved by offering
Bill Clinton a blindfold and a last cigarette.
- GORE IS A FOUR LETTER WORD
- Bill Clinton has a tissue paper anus and a polyethelene
heart. Add to that a bald spot and you've got Al Gore. Gore looks like
a failed rehabilitation project by a retarded taxidermist. He has brought
a new level of embarrassment to the term "artificial Intelligence."
His campaign speeches reveal a man who has to grope even to find the wrong
- Clinton's farewell (if it comes) will be a back echo
of Louis XIV "Après nous le déluge." Al Gore could
be one hell of a "déluge" on its way to happen. As a final
brazen act of his shameful Presidency, on its last day Clinton will execute
the only unambiguous act of his tenure, by burying Washington under an
Everest of Presidential pardons, leaving Al Gore to tidy up the debris
left by the calamitous house that Bill built. The best that can hoped for
is, by comparison with the moral syphilis Bill Clinton gave this nation,
Al Gore will bring to it only a mild dose of the ethical "clap."
(Now, George W. Bush concedes that Americans are a people so demeaned as
to respond to treason and rape with a mercy plea that he calls "compassionate
conservatism." Cyrano Savinien de Bergerac left his glove in the face
of better men for lesser impertinences.)
- Clinton's ascendance has encouraged a blossoming of bush-league
despots - Tony Blair, Vladimir Putin, Hollywood's Baldwin Brothers and,
of course, Al Gore. Gore has committed the one sin worse than being Bill
Clinton - i.e. wanting to be Bill Clinton - although there is an insidious
logic that he would be Satan's own choice to follow in Clinton's crooksteps.
- Having chalked up the Internet as one of his more advertised
creative accomplishments, Gore is presently at work developing a strain
of same-sex rice for throwing at Vermont weddings. In trying to put the
icing on Clinton's funhouse affirmative action educational absurdities,
Gore plans to issue an executive order ordaining it is the turn of the
bacilli to scrutinize the bacteriologist through the microscope. ("It's
- If eight years of the Clinton/Gore co-delinquency instructs
us, the gravest peril of a Gore Presidency is not global warming, but global
stealing. Along with Clinton, he hardened the concept that not getting
caught is the same thing as being innocent (a notion seemingly commensurate
with David Letterman's supposition that making grotesque faces is a form
of high wit.) Having gotten nailed for his dishonest fundraising capers,
he has now declared himself the champion of correcting them in other people.
(Just when the Republicans thought there was nothing more damaging he could
do to them, he declared himself on their side.)
- The fetid bouquet of Chinese money and the Clinton political
Arkanstench already oppress the Gore campaign, Should he be elected, he
will, like his predecessor, hold power by accelerating the war waged by
certain minorities against the American culture, the deterioration of its
ethos and the subversion of its military.
- The election of Al Gore would flush the Democrat Party
down the ol' porcelain receptacle as he attempts to deliver on the all
the bubble-wrap promises Clinton made to his avaricious and ignorant idolaters.
Under Gore, this "promised land-grant" may set a record for the
quickest collapse of any utopia ever constructed of Marxist toothpicks.
The election of George W. Bush will unravel the Republican Party by its
determined refusal to give its political base anything that defines conservatism,
while suffocating them under a heap of public relations ordure and painfully
demonstrating that moderation can be carried to excess.
- The two major parties have again offered us Hobson's
choice. It seems certain any third, fourth, or fifth, or even tenth party
could bring both the Democrats and Republicans to their political knees
by adopting as their campaign slogan "Read my lips. No new Clintons."
- Norman Liebmann is a freelance political commentator
and staff writer for Ether Zone. Norman Liebmann can be reached at email@example.com
We also invite you to visit his website - Fire Hat
- Published in the March 26, 2000 issue of Ether Zone.
Copyright © 2000 Ether Zone (http://etherzone.com). Reposting permitted
with this message intact.
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