- SAVANNAH, Georgia (Reuters Health) - "I'll get that": those
three little words may be music to many women's ears, but preliminary research
suggests men may be a bit more cynical about picking up the tab.
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- After viewing a video in which a man
pays for his date's dinner, most college-age women took it to be a sign
that he was more "respectful" and "romantically attracted"
to the woman in question, researchers report.
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- However, a group of young men watching
the same interaction "saw this guy as less respectful to the woman,
less respectable himself," said study author Bill Altermatt, of the
University of Michigan-Flint. He speculates that men may be more mistrustful
than women regarding the motives that drive guys to spring for a meal.
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- The findings were presented here Friday
at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology.
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- Speaking with Reuters Health, Altermatt
described the tradition of the male picking up the tab as just one part
of the "chivalry script," a ritual stretching back to "the
origins of courting in the United States, when men had jobs and women didn't."
Previous study has suggested that other parts of this "script"--pulling
out chairs, holding doors, offering coats--are still viewed positively
by men and women alike.
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- In their recent experiment, Altermatt
and his colleagues exposed 35 undergraduates to two videotaped "dates."
The dates were identical in all but one respect--in one date the man paid
the bill, and in the other the couple split the cost 50-50.
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- Women typically gave the man higher marks
when he sprang for the meal, labeling him kind, respectful and polite--"a
gentleman."
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- Men were more negative in their reaction.
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- "I've got to follow this up with
some research to find out," Altermatt said, "but my theory is
that because men are the ones (typically) initiating this behavior, they
might have--I'd hate to say it--some insight into some of the motivations
that might be behind it. Perhaps they are seeing his behavior as a little
more strategic."
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- He cautioned that the study sample size
was far too small to draw the conclusion that women are naive and men cynical
when it comes to paying the bill. But research suggests that the deference
paid to women during courtship can be a double-edged sword.
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- "The take-home message is that chivalry
is both good and bad," Altermatt said. "Chivalry is related to
both the stereotype that women are more virtuous than men, but also that
women are less competent and powerful than men," and in need of their
assistance, financial and otherwise.
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- So if chivalry isn't dead, should it
be killed off? "My hope is that there are some parts of the chivalry
script that can be salvaged," the Michigan researcher said. "While
some parts might be bad--undermining women's independence--some parts might
be fine. Holding the chair might be fine. We don't know yet. Maybe we can
preserve the romantic script without undermining a woman's independence."
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