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- Married people live longer, have better and more frequent
sex, drink less, take fewer drugs, are happier overall and end up with
more money in the bank.
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- This cheery view comes from Linda Waite, a sociologist
at the University of Chicago, who believes matrimony has gotten a bad rap.
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- Her research contradicts at least half the findings of
a much-publicized 1972 study that said marriage was a good deal for men
but not for women.
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- That study's author and researcher, Jessie Bernard, claimed
married men had a lower incidence of mental illness and depression, but
that the reverse was true for married women.
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- Waite, who happens to be married, disagrees. "The
data just isn't the same as it was in the early '70s," she says.
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- While Bernard believed that single women were better
off, Waite's research shows that a good marriage is the key to physical
and emotional well-being.
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- "A few years ago, I started doing research on mortality
and followed men and women in and out of marriages," she says. "Those
who divorced and stayed unmarried increased their chances of dying, while
those who tied the knot again lived longer."
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- Since then, Waite has compiled other studies on sexual
activity, general health, wealth, employment and career status that bolster
her findings on the merits of marriage.
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- They show: * Married people are happier with their sex
lives. "We think married people have the boring, predictable sex and
single people have the passion," Waite says. "But marrieds report
more physical and emotional satisfaction." * Married men and women
are less likely to drink heavily or use recreational drugs. * Kids raised
in two-parent families are better off emotionally and the family as a whole
is more stable. * Married people have more money. "Couples over 50
have assets of roughly $64,000 per person," says Waite. "The
worst off are separated people, who tend to have assets of about $7,000."
People 50 and older who never married, she says, average only $40,000 in
assets. * Women who choose a career over marriage make more money, but
they have less in the bank, Waite says.
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- "It really is cheaper to be married," Waite
says. "And marriage encourages you to save and accumulate. You don't
go to Cancun or buy new furniture. You put away money for college tuition
and for your own retirement."
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- Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher calls
Waite's research "intriguing."
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- "It's clear we are built to bond," says Fisher,
author of The First Sex: The Natural Talents of Women and How They Change
the World. "After all, 97 percent of mammals do not pair up to raise
their young. Only humans do."
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- But in the new century, Fisher wonders if new trends
and realities may affect our view of marriage and its long-term desirability.
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- "We have a huge baby-boomer generation moving into
middle age," says Fisher, "and we're going to hear a lot about
strong women and the benefits of being single. Why? Because of the changes
that come about with menopause.
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- "As levels of estrogen go down, the natural levels
of testosterone in women are unmasked," she says.
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- As a result, Fisher adds, women "become more assertive
and independent.
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- "Right now, it's true that married women are more
secure economically," she says. "But the environment is changing.
Many single women are finding that they can lead good, productive lives."
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- What To Do
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- Whether it's "I do," or "Forget about
it," the marriage debate is always interesting. To see how sudden
insights can improve a marriage, <http://homearts.com/rb/life/03marrf1.htm
see this article from Redbook magazine.
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