- Tony Blair obviously enjoyed his weekend stay in a Texan
poodle parlour.
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- He appeared for the television cameras with what's left
of his hair all fluffy and nice. His Stars 'n' Stripes collar positively
glowed under the arc lights.
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- Tonikins pranced on his hind legs for President Bush,
wagging his powdered tail and baring his teeth nervously.
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- And he came out with all the right barks. "Saddam
Hussein bad! George Dubya good!" He never tugged at his lead, because
a good doggy never upstages his master.
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- As a performance it was a painfully embarrassing, enough
to make you ashamed of being British.
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- But it was predictable, because that's the nature of
the relationship between our Prime Minister and the US President.
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- He is His Master's Voice - although I seem to remember
that the gramophone dog had a bit more canine assertiveness. Let's just
scroll back a bit. Before he left Britain for the summit at Prairie Chapel,
Dubya's private ranch, Blair was going to tell Bush a few home truths.
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- Like, he must not gunsling his way into a war with Iraq
that will inevitably destroy the fragile alliance against terrorism.
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- Blair, the international statesman, would forcefully
remind America that jaw-jaw is better than war-war.
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- He would also declare that diplomatic means must be found
to defuse the crisis over Saddam Hussein.
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- Our Prime Minister was portrayed as a wise big brother
to hot-headed, cross-eyed Dubya. Boy, was he going to put him straight.
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- All hogwash, as the Yanks would say. Bush treated Blair
like the whimpering poodle that he is.
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- His body language at their joint appearance told us everything.
Blair was hesitant, deferential and nervous. This was just too much power
for him to stand.
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- He immediately sided with poodlemeister Bush, using his
owner's very words that "doing nothing is not an option."
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- And he came out with this remark straight after admitting
his ignorance of Saddam's arms stockpile.
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- He talked about "whether and how" the Iraqi
dictator has developed weapons of mass destruction.
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- WHETHER? That means maybe Saddam has such weapons, maybe
he hasn't. He doesn't actually know. Yet we are assured that Tonikins was
given a very special bone - a top-secret intelligence briefing on Iraq
by the CIA.
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- So secret, naturally, that he cannot share the facts
with the people whose country he proposes to draw into an open-ended war
with one of the nastiest regimes in the Middle East.
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- What a wonderful smokescreen behind which to retire!
Tony knows, but cannot tell. "Trust me," he will say. Some hope.
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- No wonder that George Bush smiles at his poodle, and
praises him for speaking with "moral authority" when the harsh
reality is that the British Prime Minister is being taken for a ta-ta.
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- This is insane. With his usual crass style, Bush says
that "history has called us into action."
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- What history? 1066 and all that? The just war against
Fascism? As a rather wiser American would have said, Bush's version of
history is bunk.
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- Yet it has addled the brains of our head of government.
Scary, or what?
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- While all thoughts at home are focussed on the Queen
Mother, lying in state only yards from where I write, Tony Blair is thousands
of miles away, delivering my country on a plate to a latter-day Dr Strangelove.
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- The contrast could not be greater. The people of Britain
are deeply conscious of their history, and the role of the Queen Mother
in World War Two.
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- It is inconceivable that they would queue for twelve
hours to hear the Prophet of New Labour issue his latest call to arms,
in support of a superpower that has treated Britain like a boy scout troop
in the Afghan war.
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- Fortunately, Blair will come down to earth with a bump
on his next visit to London which is scheduled for tomorrow
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- Parliament will be back, and Labour MPs are in no mood
to give the Prime Minister a blank cheque for his third war.
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- It will take more than a stamp from the Lone Star State
in Blair's pet passport to convince them that they must snuggle down in
the dog bed beside Tonikins
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- http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/page.cfm?
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