- It's very difficult keeping up with Mideast news due
to the Orwellian newspeak coming from Washington.
-
- So, here's a handy list of key terms, translated into
simple English.
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- Liberation - Invasion.
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- Coalition - The U.S. and British invaders, plus some
troops from rent-a-nations like Romania and Poland. In the past, "the
coalition" would have been called imperial forces and mercenary auxiliaries.
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- Dictator - A ruler you don't like, or who does not cooperate.
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- Statesman - A cooperative dictator.
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- Stability - when things go the way Uncle Sam likes, ie.,
the status quo.
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- Instability - when things don't go the way Unc Sam wants,
ie., when trouble-makers try to change the status quo.
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- Iraq reconstruction - a process whereby big firms that
contribute to the president's re-election campaign obtain contracts to
rebuild the damage caused by U.S. bombing.
-
- Freeing Iraq's oil assets - Washington's seizure and
sale of Iraqi oil, which in no way can be compared to Cuba's seizure and
sale of U.S.-owned property, a dastardly crime.
-
- Mideast democracy - regimes that hold rigged elections
and obey Washington's orders.
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- Free trade - pouring goods and services into the newly
"liberated" country, and buying up its key industrial assets
at fire-sale prices.
-
- Terrorism - violent acts by dangerous fanatics and malcontents
who refuse to accept the downtrodden status assigned to them by Washington.
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- Anti-terrorism - State terrorism.
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- Uranium - a yellowish mineral from Niger that causes
red faces in the White House.
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- Iraq Administrator - A pro-consul or gaulieter, disguised
as a minor suburban bureaucrat.
-
- Drones of death - Iraqi remotely piloted aircraft that
the White House claimed were poised to fly off Iraqi ships lurking in the
North Atlantic and shower fiendish germs on a sleeping America - which
turn out to be two model airplanes, only one of which could fly. See "vans
of death."
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- Vans of death - Claimed by Washington to be Iraqi mobile
germ warfare laboratories, but turn out, on inspection, to be British-supplied
trucks for inflating weather balloons.
-
- Weapons of Mass Destruction - Nasty weapons, existing
or non-existing, that the other side has. When your side has them, they
become invisible.
-
- Torture - a foul act committed by your enemies. When
your side does it, it's called intensive interrogation in Guantanamo.
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- Homeland security - bolting the barn door after the horse
has escaped by rounding up Muslims and denying them due process of law.
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- French - Insubordinate ingrates and depraved chain-smokers
who had the nerve to try to block the jolly little war in Iraq, and now
sneer, "we told you so."
-
- Germans - Untrustworthy. Just when you order them to
be warlike again, they go soft. Wait until they see the next dozen WWII
epics from Hollywood.
-
- Canadians - A bunch of pot-smoking, pinko, wimp nancy
boys who marry their best friends and refuse to obey orders from the Great
White Father in Washington.
-
- Islam - An evil faith that promotes violence and hatred,
as proven by the Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, who learned about the agents of the
devil while encountering them in motel rooms.
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- Fox News - The Ministry of Truth.
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- Al-Jazeera News - All the bad news we don't want to hear.
See Fox News.
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- Die-hards and Saddam loyalists - Any Iraqis opposing
the invasion of their country.
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- Traitors and friends of Saddam - Journalists who questioned
the Bush Administration's lurid claims over Iraq's purported threat.
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- Moderate - A Mideastern ruler who toes the line and makes
nice to Israel.
-
- Peacekeepers - Troops from browbeaten or bribed vassal
states sent to perform garrison duty in U.S.-occupied nations that the
Pentagon wants to avoid, or lacks the troops to perform.
-
- New Iraqi government - An august body that leaps to its
feet when a U.S. soldier enters the room, and has total authority over
garbage collection and sewers.
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- Saddam Hussein - A former close American ally who got
too big for his britches. If not assassinated, may soon be needed again
to run Iraq for Washington.
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- Uday and Qusay - Yes, Saddam's boys were big-time delinquents,
but Crazy Uday's biggest mistake was probably making fun of George W. Bush
in his newspaper, calling the prez a draft-dodging wimp. Perhaps that's
why he and Qusay got the multi, anti-tank missile treatment - Texas justice
- rather than a nice show trial in Baghdad.
-
- Eye-Raq - A democracy-seeking Arab state that volunteered
for mentoring and tutelage from Washington in exchange for helping out
American drivers of SUvs.
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- http://www.canoe.ca/Columnists/margolis_jul27.html
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