- "I couldn't cry, I was just listening to the news,
seeing again and again all through the day how the Americans bombed the
al-Jazeera office and killed my husband."
-
-
- When my husband decided to go to Baghdad, he knew that
I would protest. He told me that I was exaggerating the risks; that there
was nothing to be afraid of because he was a reporter, an objective witness,
neither on this nor that side, and because of that was protected by world
protocol. He bid us farewell, apologising for having been so busy. He promised
to make it up to me and our daughter, Fatimah, when he returned.
-
- Tareq left for al-Jazeera's Baghdad office on April 5.
He called me when he arrived - the journey was hellish, he said. He sounded
exhausted, because he was sleeping only three hours a day, between shifts.
Back home in Jordan, our life wasn't any better; we could hardly sleep
and sat mesmerised in front of the TV waiting for Tareq to appear in a
live report so we'd know he was OK.
-
- On the early morning of April 8, I was still awake at
6am and saw his last live report, in which he described the situation in
Baghdad as being very calm and quiet. I was relieved and went to sleep,
only to wake up one hour later to the sound of my mother crying and yelling.
-
- At first, I didn't know what had happened. I brought
a chair and sat trembling in front of the TV. The house was suddenly full
of people. I couldn't see or hear anyone. I was waiting for the film to
end. I was waiting for the hero to appear and end all evil. I was waiting
for the story of my life to end with "and they lived happily ever
after". I couldn't cry, I was just listening to the news, seeing again
and again all through the day how the Americans bombed the al-Jazeera office
and killed my husband.
-
- I teach English translation. Once, when I was lecturing
on the translation of political terminology, with reference to the UN charter
and the declaration of human rights, one of the students said: "How
can the US say that this war has a noble cause and a humane agenda? All
the dictionary definitions of war involve bloodshed and overwhelming destruction."
Another student joined in: "Don't tell us about charters and so-called
noble missions, what we see is what we believe." The whole class cheered;
I had nothing to say.
-
- I used to tell my students that the American dream is
best described as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Now I am
convinced my students were right and I wrong. I learned the hard way when
the Americans ruined my life, confiscated my liberty and ended my happiness.
-
- The US bombed al-Jazeera because it was angered by reports
that did not confirm its one-sided picture of the war. For the past five
years, al-Jazeera and other Arab stations have been gaining credibility
and fame not only in the Arab countries but also in the west, competing
with international networks such as the BBC and CNN. Al-Jazeera in particular
became very popular during the American war on Afghanistan. The channel
aired voice recordings of al-Qaida and Taliban leaders as well as the speeches
of President Bush and allied leaders. This decision to broadcast both sides
was in keeping with its motto - "The opinion and the counter-opinion"
- but the Americans could not allow such freedom of expression to prevail.
-
- The US sent its first warning to al-Jazeera in November
2001, bombing its Kabul office, destroying its equipment and forcing its
journalists to flee. An al-Jazeera cameraman was sent to Guantanamo Bay
as a war prisoner.
-
- In Baghdad during the war, the coverage of al-Jazeera
again focused mainly on the daily suffering and loss of ordinary people;
and again the Americans wanted their crimes and atrocities to pass unnoticed.
The two bombs they dropped on al-Jazeera's Baghdad office were the ones
that killed my husband. Then the Americans opened fire on Abu Dhabi television,
whose identity was spelled out in large blue letters on the roof. The next
target was the Palestine hotel, the headquarters of world media representatives
- an American tank fired a shell and two more journalists were killed.
Thus the US tried to conceal evidence of its crimes from the world and
kill the witnesses.
-
- The US didn't take responsibility for the attacks, claiming
that all three were mistakes and insisting that it did not know the whereabouts
of journalists, apart from those "embedded" with its troops.
Later, al-Jazeera's director confirmed that it had given the precise location
of the station's Baghdad office to the Pentagon three months before the
war. My husband and the others were killed in broad daylight, in locations
known to the Pentagon as media sites.
-
- The US was not content with the message it sent to al-Jazeera
signed with the blood of my husband; it accused al-Jazeera and other Arab
channels of anti-American bias in their coverage of the war. But how biased
can a picture of dead people be? A picture of a destroyed house doesn't
need a reporter to tell its story, and the tears of children and refugees
need no interpreter.
-
- Tell me, please, what should I do when my daughter, just
20 months old, starts calling her late father's name and looking for him
all around the house? What should I do when the clock strikes five and
I keep waiting for Tareq to open the door with his smiling face but he
never comes in? When the only way to have some rest is to cry myself to
sleep? When I see my mother-in-law vomiting four times in less than half
an hour? When my daughter brings her toys to play with me, as she used
to do with her father, and I can't even hold her? When my tears fall on
my daughter's face when I give her milk, remembering how her father used
to do it? When I feel ruined and desperate, with no hope in life?
-
- How should I raise my daughter? Allow me to answer the
last question. I will raise her never to forgive or forget. Never to forget
her father and never to forgive those who killed him.
-
- Six months have passed since the killing of Tareq, and
those responsible for his death are still in control, claiming ethical
supervision of the world, and basking in their military achievements. The
attacks on al-Jazeera continue - Iraq's US-appointed governing council
has just warned the station that if it continues to "misbehave",
its licence in Iraq will be revoked. Meanwhile, an al-Jazeera correspondent,
Tayssir Alouni - the only television journalist who had a live link from
Taliban Kabul, and a survivor of both the Kabul and Baghdad bombings -
has been accused of helping al-Qaida and the Taliban. When he went to Spain
to obtain his PhD, he was arrested by the Spanish authorities, widely believed
to have been at the behest of the Americans. He is now in a high-security
prison awaiting trial, despite there being no concrete evidence against
him.
-
- As for me, six months have passed since my husband's
death and I can't find anyone to help me to launch legal action against
those who killed him. When I thought I had found an outlet under Belgian
law, US threats and ultimatums got the law repealed and put an end to my
hopes of gaining justice.
-
- When the Muslim Association of Britain invited me to
speak at last weekend's anti-war march in London, I hesitated because of
the despair I have been in. But when I saw all these people marching against
the war, condemning those responsible for it, my hope and belief in the
solidarity of humankind, in humanity, justice and truth was rekindled.
-
- My life and happiness came to an end on April 8, but
I still have one last dream; that my Fatimah will have a better future
full of love and security, that her heart and mind as well as mine will
be relieved when those who committed the cold-blooded murder of her father
and my husband are brought to justice.
-
- - Dima Tareq Tahboub is a lecturer at the Arab Open University
in Amman and the widow of Tareq Ayyoub, a correspondent for al-Jazeera
-
- Guardian Unlimited © Guardian Newspapers Limited
2003
-
- http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,1055779,00.html
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