- Sit down to your plates of bird Take those massive bites
absurd Rip apart bone, sinew, flesh Lick and slurp as limbs unmesh Shovel
it down into your gullets (After all, you emptied wallets) Masticate those
gravy giblets Liver chunks and kidney niblets Grind away at drumstick,
breast Put those enzymes to the test Push that belly past belt-line Double
that chin and puff that hind Heap your stuffing hillocks high Add more
cheese to cottage thighs Chew that ham and beef and mutton Split those
seams and burst those buttons Fill a glass and raise a toast "To cellulite
and adipose!" Eat and eat and eat and eat, of Burned and stewed and
seared dead meat Chomp and grunt and gurgle and gulp No fizzy gut relief
will help Stuff your face and swill Chablis ("It was so cheap, it's
almost free!") With family and your friends, palaver As you dissect
that bird cadaver Yack and yack, then take a snooze On Grandma's couch,
to process booze Reunite your feuding relatives Hope repast will act as
palliatives Tell your bro-in-law to pack Sneer at Sis behind her back For
Ma-in-law, a dirty joke While wishing her on yam to choke Kiss wifey-poo
on plumping cheek While neighbor's rear your eyeballs seek And if your
guts begin to rumble Into the bathroom you may stumble To make some room
for pie of pumpkin As only a hefty, hearty dump can! It's Thanksglutton,
er, giving Time to exalt eating, er, living A time to show appreciation
For all the stuff in this great nation And what better way is there to
do it Than build upon American suet?
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- --RR
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