- Mothers and wives should be held accountable for perpetuating
violence in society, according to a Glasgow doctor who has had female patients
admit to him that they batter their husbands in front of their children.
-
- In an article for a GP journal, Dr Des Spence, a GP at
Maryhill Health Centre, writes of his concern over female patients who
confess to attacking their partners, occasionally with knives. He says
the police are called but no charges are made.
-
- Spence also writes of a boy in his practice who, when
involved in a fight with another boy outside his home, was thrown a knife
by his mother.
-
- While he accepts that the majority of domestic violence
is carried out by men, Spence argues that some women encourage the stereotypical
image of the macho, and often violent, male. He believes that unless we
face up to the fact that women also play a part, then we will not be able
to tackle high levels of violence in society.
-
- Spence also argues that blaming men for all the violence
in society is ignoring the truth, and therefore unhelpful in rooting out
aggression.
-
- The doctor, describing consultations when patients discussed
assaults on their partners in front of their children, claimed: "This
on occasion involved the use of knives and other weapons. The police had
been called but no charges followed.
-
- "I'd been conditioned to believe violence was largely
a male problem but I now realise this is patently not so. Blame is understandable,
convenient and satisfying but does not necessarily reflect the truth."
-
- Spence argues that as women bring up their sons they
must take some responsibility for encouraging macho behaviour.
-
- "Do women condition their children to be violent?
Is female violence more acceptable than male violence in our society and,
if so, why? Does unchecked violence by a mother legitimise violence within
a family and society? Should campaigns be solely focused on male violence
against women or violence as a whole, irrespective of gender?"
-
- He added: "If we want to tackle abusive behaviour
in society then it is time we openly discuss abusive behaviour by women,
recognising both physical and emotional abuse by women.
-
- "Mothers, partners and wives need to be willing
to tackle the stereotype of men and male behaviour that they pass on to
their children. We need to accept that women have a responsibility for
the behaviour of boys and how they develop into men. Society should not
accept sexist language or images of women but equally nor should they accept
sexist language or images of men."
-
- Myra Johnson, of Women's Aid, is aware of no research,
however, to suggest women nurture violence in their sons.
-
- "I have not heard of any research to suggest women
are encouraging the macho stereotype of men. Women's Aid recognises domestic
violence can affect everyone.
-
- "If you look at the research, however, in the majority
of cases it is women who experience domestic violence with men perpetrating
it. In many cases when women do abuse men it is in self-defence after years
of abuse. They retaliate to protect themselves and their children.
-
- "There have been a number of government campaigns
targeted at domestic violence in general. These national campaigns do recognise
that domestic violence is something that impacts on men and women."
-
- Johnson added that health professionals like Spence can
play a major role in encouraging men and women to report domestic violence.
-
- Britain's first refuge for battered men opened in secret
over the new year. The safe house, in southwest England, will shelter men
and their children who have been physically or emotionally abused by a
female partner. A second centre will open early this year in northwest
England, and organisers plan to create a national network.
-
- The latest figures from the British Crime Survey showed
that 81% of the victims of domestic violence are women while just 19% are
men.
-
- But another set of figures, from the 1996 British Crime
Survey, show that 4.2% of men and an equal proportion of women said they
had been assaulted by a current or former partner in the previous year.
And 23% of women and 15% of men aged between 16 and 59 said they had been
physically assaulted by a current or former partner at some time in their
lives.
-
- Men's rights groups argue, however, that the male figure
could be even higher because men are reluctant to admit being victims.
They say at least one in every six incidents of domestic violence ñ
around 18% ñ is committed by women on men.
-
- They also say that, as there are 426 shelters for battered
women in the UK, by that reckoning there should be around 70 for men.
-
- ©2003 newsquest (sunday herald) limited. all rights
reserved
-
- http://www.sundayherald.com/39083
-
- Comment
- From Sheryl Jackson
- 1-5-4
-
- Sadly, this article is a screaming report of the truth
of violence perpetuated by women who like "BadBoys". And there
are alot of women who want men who "act like men" so they can
be sex objects. This is not an affair of the heart, but rather an affair
of the "ego".
-
- In these relationships that are so prevalent in all societies,
no one is ever happy. He has to "prove" he is a man all of the
time, to keep her entertained or from finding another BIGGER, BETTER MAN.
And there is always someone who is bigger and badder than the one you have.
So she is always looking, while her "man" is fighting his way
out of bars and nightclubs just to get her back in the car and home "safe
and sound". Being a sex object is a jagged sword, because the one
you have is only worthwhile as long as their are no new "men"
around. She MUST be attractive to everyone to prove to her "man"
she is the object of his affection. Sex objects have to look the part,
not just play the part.
-
- Like the gunslingers of the old west, men act violently
to "preserve" his family, his belongings and his women. For
some reason the women like to think their husband is "manly"
for his brutality and insecure ego. She will be traded in by her MOCKO
man as soon as she starts wanting to be loved, catered to, or settled down.
The men who do these "manly activities" are usually criminals
and they go to prison, jail, or work camps regularly leaving her to be
"taken care of{" by the very men he was fighting off in the first
place.
-
- The "BadBoys" are really looking for a woman
who will, by her very femininity, change them and their "BadBoyWays".
So you have two conflicting philosophies entering into a relationship
that can only end badly. She will blame him for being a philanderer and
cheat and he will blame her for not being "the right kind of woman"
for him to become a better man.
-
- This is why the New Filthy Rich and Undeserving very
seldom have long term romances or marriages. Olde money does not enter
into marriages and partnerships for anything but political and financial
accumulations. They do not expect their partners to be monogamous or true
to their mates, they just have to behave with discretion. Not to be bringing
the latest concubine or gigolo home for dinner. Just to appear for the
obligatory interviews and philanthropies.
-
- It has not been an issue of discussion for men who have
violent wives, indeed there is shame for a man who has a wife that can
hurt him. Shame and derision from their peers who will laugh and holler
if he tries to discuss it. Women who get beaten are able to get help and
shelter while being counseled that she has a right to a peaceful marriage
that is free from violence from her partner.
-
- Men who are murdered by their wives have the posthumous
satisfaction that the wife will be incarcerated for life. On the other
hand women who are murdered by their husbands know that he will be footloose
and fancy free to spend the insurance money he collected for killing her
in the first place. But don't beat your wife, because people will see
the bruises and know the truth.
-
- Like Laci Peterson, Nichole Simpson, and Terri Schiavo.
-
- Sheryl Jackson
-
- Women who teach their sons to be "BadBoys"
is fodder for an entire other diatribe.
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