- I object, in a most strenuous way, to the hoopla surrounding
this Gay Marriage Thingie. It is most inappropriate for those who are not
gay to assign some sort of religious nonsense to the _fact_ of gayness
in America today. Indeed, why must people be of the same sex in order to
become engaged? Or Married?
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- This and other questions will be explored in this essay.
Please, do not make your minds up until you've read the entire piece.
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- My Doggie Has No Fleas
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- And, Pepe has been neutered. Now Pepe has come to me
privately and asked why it is that he cannot marry. I could not answer
his question. With tears in his big, brown eyes, Pepe said to me, he said,
"Daddy, just because I have not the wherewithal with which to consummate
the marriage, is this any reason for me to be alone the rest of my life?"
I could not answer Pepe.
-
- So I gave him a biscuit treat.
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- I'd walk a Mile for a Camel
-
- Rosie (that'd be my wife ... and yes, she is a she and
I am a he) told me that her good friend Linda Woofburner, was a Leboian.
I have a friend living in San Fran Sisco, who is gay. We all have relatives,
well, some of us do, who live with a "friend" of the same sex.
They want to enjoy the privilege of having a marriage license on their
bedroom wall. They want, like most other decent people, to be able to proudly
wear a wedding ring. And have children. Isn't it sufficient to us, that
since gay couples may never have children of their own? Must we also deprive
them of a wedding? Of a _real_ wedding, blessed by a Justice of the Peace?
A man of ... uh ... the government? Huh? And why must these 'friends' be
denied the right to adopt another human being, and make that human being
in the image of themselves. In theimage of their gayness? Indeed, even
if the child does not become gay, this child will have realized the stupidity
of not recognizing gay marriage. "After all, look how I turned out!"
he or she would say.
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- If we cut them, do they not bleed?
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- I Walk a Mile for a Camel ... Maybe even Farther!
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- I once knew a boy who wanted a camel; the animal, not
the cigarette. All his young life, he yearned for a camel. No one but he
knew that he wanted to marry that camel. Why should not this boy now a
man, have the privilege of marrying a camel? Why should not men and women
who desire carnal knowledge with animals be able to marry? Why I ask you?
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- I say, he or she who wishes to marry anyone or anything,
be allowed by law, to do so. And I challenge the Churches of the world
to set the same precedent set by the gay people of San Francisco and allow
gay marriage, animal marriage and marriage (if desired) between men and
plastic blow up dolls.
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- I pick Pia Zadora. But alas and verily alack I am already
married.
-
- Deny me not my Love, for it is written ...
-
- "Verily I say unto yous, if a man take another man,
or a woman take another woman, or if a man or woman take an animal, or
a statue, or some simulacrum of a man or woman, dog, animal of any kind,
then that man or that woman must have the right to do so."
-
- This statement, this magnificent statement, was made
by G-d Himself when he came down from the mountain and spaked to Moses.
But Moses, being too damned mainstream, too damned religious, too stuck
in the old ways, allowed himself to forget this one commandment. The eleventh
commandment. And so, this word of G-d is now lost forever in the archives
of ... of ... uh ... in the archives.
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- In Gay Conclusion
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- Let them eat cake; those who deny gays and other perceived
perverts, let them eat cake at their wedding I say.
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- Dr. (Name on File because I do not wish to be responsible
for this gibberish)
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- In final conclusion ... uh ... I think I'm finished this
time. Yup. I'm done.
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