- Let's put aside the denial and look at the real reason
the U.S. is such a mess these days: its so-called "educational"
system and opportunities. I admit I am a product of that system's defects:
I was allowed to graduate high school without repeating the basic math,
civics, and English studies I'd failed in my high school senior year. Get
'em out the door, there are more coming!
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- Fortunately, I never allowed my education to interfere
with my learning: by being an autodidact, I became a writer published in
the USA, Canada, and the UK since 1965, in major and minor publications,
and now online.
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- Here's the Problem: instead of grounding all students
in adequate learning skills to become self-instructing, they are administered
minimal information so they can pass tests. Over-worked, poorly paid teachers
are then given a new batch to condition, and the cycle grinds on to oblivion.
Of course there are always the bright ones who are excellent students and
are a measure of compensation for the rest.
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- As one who has served as Instructor and Teacher, I understand
the many levels of difficulties encountered all through the many levels
of the system, and I am sympathetic to the struggling teachers and others
committed to doing their best with what they have to work with, both humans
and facilities. But what can we say about the below, recently posted from
Oklahoma schools?
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- The following questions and answers were collated from
SAT tests given to 16 year olds in 2002. Don't laugh too hard: one of them
may be your President someday!
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- Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and
vinegar.
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- Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by
sky.
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- Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be
made clean. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
sand, dead sheep, and large pollutants like grit and canoeists.
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- Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on leaves
and makes them perspire.
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- Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides
are a fight between the Moon and the Earth. All water tends to flow toward
the moon, because there is no water on the Moon, and Nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget what role the Sun plays in this fight.
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- Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important, because sex can only happen when the male gets one.
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- Q: What are steroids? A: Things used to keep carpets
still on the stairs.
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- Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you
get old, so do your bowels, and you become intercontinental.
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- Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A:
He says goodbye to his childhood and says hello to his adultery.
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- Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A:
Premature death.
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- Q: How are the major parts of the body categorized (e.g.,
abdomen)? A: The body is consisted into three parts: the brainium, the
borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
vowels A, E, I, O, and U.
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- Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Very near
by.
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- Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie.
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- Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A:
Most people prevent conception by wearing a condominium.
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- Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarian section is a district in Rome.
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- Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor.
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- Q: How can you delay milk from turning sour? A: By keeping
it in the cow.
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- Q: What is a terminal illness? A: It's like when you
get sick at the airport.
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- Personally, my favourite is the response to the Caesarean
Section question: it sounds exactly what the pResident would have written.
You know, at moments such as these, for many people it's as simple as any
port in a storm.
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