- In the final days before the '04 elections, I constantly
hear people say that our country and the world is on the brink of destruction.
Respective proponents of Bush and Kerry tell us that a vote for the wrong
candidate might be a signature of one's own death certificate. They assert
that our freedom, our way of life, and even our physical existence is in
greater peril than ever before. "This is the most important election
in history!" is the battle cry on both sides of the political aisle.
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- I hear this ridiculous hyperbole, and I am left to wonder
what happened to historical knowledge in the US of A. People who believe
we are living in "the most dangerous times ever" have either
no understanding of history, or no ability to view it in context with the
present. I guess historian Jim Bishop was on to something when he said,
"Nothing is as far away as a minute ago."
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- It's understandable how we fall prey to the illusion
that the world is the worst it has ever been. The media thrives on hyping,
exploiting, and sensationalizing every disaster, every tragedy, and every
"danger." Watching Fox News' jingoistic coverage of the "War
on Terror," it is easy to forget that in America, one is more likely
to drown in one's own bathtub than die in a terrorist attack.
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- But this sense of impending doom is quelled if we briefly
examine the recent history of the United States; by recent, I mean less
than one hundred years ago. A century is not a terribly long time, historically
speaking. More than 40,000 centenarians are alive today -- people who lived
through world wars I and II, segregation, a great depression, the murder
of president Kennedy, Vietnam, man's first steps on the moon, the crumbling
of the Berlin wall, and yes, the comparatively minor terror attacks of
9/11. I imagine them surrounded by youngsters who scream that the United
States is finished unless we elect Joe Blow over Jim No-Brains. They must
smile sadly and shake their heads.
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- I've spent the last week or so taking a stroll down history
lane, exploring an online database of newspaper archives dating back to
the 19th century. What I have found has served as a sober and, yes, encouraging
reminder of just how far we have come in a very short time.
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- Novel word searches through this database have yielded
some remarkable results. While researching an article on death prophecies,
I accidentally stumbled on what might be the most hilarious news headline
in history. It appeared on the front page of the August 25, 1910 edition
of the Washington Post. It was the title of a story about a meeting between
Ohio Senator Charles Dick, and president Taft. And this headline read,
in bold and all caps:
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- "DICK AROUSES TAFT."
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- This outrageous double-entendre set my mind in a state
of hilarity. It even inspired me to work up an article, ala the famous
Jay Leno bit, on (unintentionally) funny news headlines. And of course,
the word most likely to make a headline funny would be "Dick."
-
-
- I did a search for the words "dick beaten"
(haha), and did indeed find a match. Amazingly, it was another story on
the aforementioned Senator Charles Dick (if the poor guy only knew.) The
headline from the September 10, 1906 Syracuse Herald read, "Dick Beaten
in Home Country." Of course, I guffawed laughter at this sight and
nearly sprayed coffee all over my keyboard. However, directly underneath
this item was a story that sobered me up like a slap in the face.
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- It took me a moment to absorb what I was seeing. I think
my mind, bred as it is on the notions of tolerance, non-judgment, and equality
of all humans, wanted to believe it was just a gag. But then I remembered
that I was gazing through the looking glass at a different time -- a different
way of life -- in human history.
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- This headline read:
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- BUSHMAN IN MONKEY CAGE
-
 New York Negroes Resent Action
of Bronx Park Managers.
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- NEW YORK, Sept. 10 -- Several thousand persons took the
subway, the elevators and the surface cars to the New York Zoological park
in the Bronx yesterday, and there watched Oro Bogo the Bushman, who has
been put on exhibition there in the monkey cage. The Bushman didn't seem
to mind it, and the sight plainly pleased the crowd. Few expressed audible
objection to the sight of a human being in a cage with monkeys as companions,
and there could be no doubt that to the majority the joint man and monkey
exhibition was the most interesting sight in Bronx park.
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- News of the exhibition reached the Rev. Dr. R. S. MacArthur
of Calvary Baptist church last night, and he announced his intention of
communicating with the negro clergymen in the city and starting an agitation
to have the show stopped.
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- "Instead of making a beast of this little fellow,
he should be put in school for the development of such powers as God gave
to him," said Dr. MacArthur.
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- Have we come a long way, baby? Yes, we have.
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