- If George Bush had encountered the same fate as Jim Carrey,s
character in the movie Liar Liar, and had been rendered incapable of lying,
America would not have been subjected to thirty minutes of manipulative
propaganda on 9/15. Compelled to tell the truth, Bush,s oration would have
captured the reality of the situation in New Orleans, and of life for the
poor and working class in an America dominated by a wealthy aristocracy:
- 8:02 P.M. CDT
- THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. It is a very good evening
for me. I am still an obscenely wealthy and powerful autocratic leader
of a nation of sheeple who falsely believe they are free. While I am surrounded
by misery and suffering, I make this presentation of shameless propaganda
from a comfortable, beautiful stage set while surrounded by an entourage
of thugs who assure my safety. I am speaking to you from what is left of
the city of New Orleans, a gem of an American city which was gutted by
a powerful force of nature, and by the insidious social experiment undertaken
by my malevolent administration. Millions of lives were destroyed by a
cruel and wasteful storm, and by a cruel and wasteful federal government
over which I zealously preside.
- In the aftermath of Katrina, the haves of this nation
have gleefully watched the have-nots dispersed to the four corners of this
great nation. As the victims search for loved ones and grieve for the dead,
America's attention is diverted from my nomination of a Supreme Court Justice
who will strengthen the tyranny I have created, Karl Rove's criminal behavior,
and my administration's numerous war crimes related to Iraq. The lies and
exaggerations of my media lap-dogs have persuaded many Americans that blacks
are undisciplined animals who live off of government hand-outs, feeding
my agenda to end social welfare programs and perpetuating the lucrative
prison-industrial complex. With their persistent cries for civil rights,
blacks have been a thorn in the side of the American aristocracy long enough.
- These days of joy and elation for me and my base have
been marred by acts of courage and kindness by members of the Coast Guard,
who rescued tens of thousands of the undesirables in New Orleans. Rest
assured that my administration will deal with them accordingly.
- I have met first responders who performed their duties
in spite of their own suffering. Steve Scott of the Biloxi Fire Department
aided in rescue efforts despite having lost his house and car. For his
obstruction of the purge of undesirables, I will see to it that he loses
more than just his physical possessions.
- Across the Gulf Coast, the people whose suffering I facilitated
are showing a spirit and a faith in God which not even I could crush. However,
there is a powerful determination amongst corporations, contractors, and
entrepreneurs to take what is left of these battered areas and utilize
them for personal financial gain. Like me, they have no compassion or humility.
Our relentless bid for wealth and power will eventually break the backs
of the downtrodden.
- To the victims of the hurricane dispelled far and wide,
I send you this message. Many soft, weak people I call "liberals"
care about you. In contrast, my base of the obscenely wealthy and I are
relishing your misery. We are salivating at the opportunities to expand
our wealth by rebuilding your city with you out of our way. The Crescent
City will rise again, and as it does, so will the balances in our bank
- The National Guard and our hired thugs from Blackwater
have nearly completed the task of quelling the New Orleans insurgency.
Those thugs who were stealing food to survive or staying in their homes
to protect their meager possessions have nearly been suppressed. Let the
scenes of armed militia battering down doors of private homes be a lesson
to you other potential dissidents across this great nation.
- As we have restored "law and order" to New
Orleans and have scattered the "evacuees" to the wind, we have
taken care of the truly important business. With that mass of worthless
humanity out of our way, we have resumed trade in the Port of New Orleans,
restored the flow of precious gasoline that ensures profits for me and
my cronies in the oil industry, and have repaired the levees to prepare
for the impending land grab by wealthy business owners.
- What I want you to believe is that our first commitment
is to meet the immediate needs of the refugees. To help convince you of
my concern for them, I have even started calling them evacuees rather than
refugees. However, the reality is that the aid the federal government is
offering to the evacuees is window dressing to maintain the facade that
we still live in a democracy that is "of the people, by the people,
and for the people". After days of inaction on my part, Karl Rove
reminded me that if we didn't throw the poor some scraps, we could be looking
at civil unrest and rioting across the nation. For assistance, please call
this number: 1-877-EAT CAKE.
- To ensure that Americans believe we are helping the evacuees,
but more importantly to start the rebuilding efforts, I have ordered $60
billion in aid. My friends in Congress gave me their usual rubber stamp.
Know that this administration has been so generous with your tax dollars
because the money will be flowing into the pockets of our friends at Shaw
Contracting, Halliburton, and Bechtel National. I have ensured that their
profits will be further enhanced by suspending that vexatious Davis-Bacon
Act. Forget the damage caused by Katrina. The real tragedy would be if
my friends were obligated to pay America's working people reasonable wages,
thereby cutting into their disaster profiteering.
- Our second commitment, and our true agenda, is to rebuild
the Gulf Coast. We will not rest until Trent Lott and I are able to share
a drink on the front porch of his newly rebuilt home. Many of the 250,000
uninhabitable homes in New Orleans will be bull-dozed to make way for developments
to benefit corporations and the wealthy. While we are orchestrating the
theft of their homes, we will implement programs to ensure that the poor,
black former denizens of New Orleans are permanently relocated to slums
and decaying urban cores of other major cities in the US.
- The federal government will be heavily involved in the
rebuilding process. I want my people to have ultimate authority to guarantee
that my people prosper from this calamity. Many of the same contractors
who were awarded large sums to rebuild the infrastructure in Iraq, and
have bilked America's taxpayers of billions of dollars, will get the same
opportunity here in New Orleans. We will see to it that the city of New
Orleans changes its zoning laws, to prevent the re-emergence of the disgusting
"jungles populated by poor black "animals which existed before
- I pledge a third commitment: The communities that we
rebuild will be better than those before the disaster. We have already
eliminated the persistent poverty and racial discrimination prevalent in
this region by evacuating the residents to various cities across the nation.
Once this region is rebuilt, there will be a multitude of new businesses,
including some token minority-owned businesses to pacify the black community.
When houses are rebuilt, most of the residents will be white so they can
own and not rent.
- In keeping with our emphasis on businesses and profit
over humanity, I am proposing a Gulf Opportunity Zone in areas touched
by the disaster. This program will further the interests of entrepreneurs
and business people, and move our nation closer to the raw capitalism that
is so near and dear to my heart. The Zone will grant loans and tax incentives
to business people so they can begin prospering again while the poor continue
to suffer. I want you to believe that entrepreneurship breaks the cycle
of poverty, but the reality is that without a reasonable degree of government
regulation, it perpetuates impoverishment by keeping money in the hands
of entrepreneurs who pay meager wages and offer limited benefits to their
- I am also proposing Worker Recovery Accounts to help
evacuees find work. This will provide accounts of up to $5000.00 from which
evacuees can draw for education, job training and child care as they search
for work. I want assurances that the poor who are receiving federal assistance
are not using the money to buy crack, and this program will weed out the
"trash" of our society.
- The Urban Homesteading Act, another of my programs I
will submit for automatic endorsement by a Congress which is dominated
by members of my wealthy base will take the property in the region which
the federal government will appropriate from its rightful owners and create
a lottery for low-income individuals. Lottery winners will receive a plot
of land on which they will be required to build a home. My friends in the
mortgage industry will reap the windfalls of providing the financing. Those
lottery winners whose credit is too weak to qualify for a loan from my
friends will have to rely on Habitat for Humanity to build their homes.
If that does not work out, Wal-Mart sells some very affordable tents.
- New Orleans presents a unique challenge. It is a city
built below sea level. Now that we have expelled the scourges of humanity,
my Army Corps of Engineers will make the levees bigger and better. I will
spare no expense ensuring that my friends' investments are protected from
- We have witnessed armies of compassion as Americans have
given generously to mitigate the plight of the suffering in New Orleans
and throughout the Gulf Region. Because I remained on vacation and FEMA
acted with gross ineptitude, the burden to aid the storm victims initially
fell upon private charities, organizations like the Red Cross, individual
Americans, and religious organizations. This is "compassionate conservatism"
in action, and I am delighted to see it working so well.
- I want you to know that my administration will capitalize
upon this disaster, much like we did with the 9/11 tragedy. I have already
apprised you of the $60 billion which will flow into the coffers of companies
with ties to members of my administration and their friends. The financial
windfall will be wonderful, but the true benefit lies in the opportunity
to expand our power. I realize that like the WTC catastrophe, the cataclysm
in New Orleans has left Americans feeling fearful and insecure. We will
prey on this trepidation to broaden executive powers and sweep away the
remaining semblance of a republic in America.
- America, Big Brother is there for you. Above all, remember:
- It is now clear that a challenge on this scale requires
greater federal authority and a broader role for the armed forces---the
institution of our government most capable of massive logistical operations
on a moment's notice.
- While I realize that Americans expect a more effective
response from the federal government when a disaster of this magnitude
happens, they need to realize that under my New American Century, domestic
programs like FEMA have been rendered impotent. The military is the essence
of our government. The US military budget, including money for its ancillary
departments, is over $600 billion per year. This siphons money away from
domestic, humanitarian programs like emergency response, education, and
health care. But the good news is that the rich who have high stakes in
entities like the Carlyle Group get richer as a result. Besides, my delayed
and feeble response in New Orleans enabled the Gulf Region to rid itself
of many of its criminal, useless inhabitants.
- Congress is preparing an investigation of the situation
in New Orleans. However, the results will be similar to the probes into
9/11 and Abu Gharib. My administration will see to it that no evidence
of our culpability comes to light, and if perpetrators are punished, they
will be lower echelon scapegoats.
- The trials in the Gulf Coast remind Americans of their
strength, as they struggle against the forces of nature, and against the
corruption and criminal acts of my administration. These challenges also
remind them that the poor and working class are bound together, and that
despair touches all of them. Meanwhile my rich friends and I raise glasses
of outrageously expensive champagne to toast the new opportunities for
enrichment and empowerment.
- Because my rich, sheltered existence makes it impossible
to empathize, I cannot tell you that I understand what you are feeling
while you are sitting on the porch where your home once stood or lying
on a cot in an over-crowded government internment center. I can say that
I doubt that you can imagine a bright future, but rest assured it will
come for some of us. My friends and I will prosper at your expense.
- Before Katrina and I joined forces to destroy it, New
Orleans had a custom for funerals for jazz musicians. Following the funeral
procession, a band would play a sorrowful dirge. After the coffin was laid
to rest, the band would break into a joyful tune to celebrate the soul's
victory over death. No such joyous music will emerge from our new New Orleans.
My friends and I will erect a hollow, soulless shrine to the avarice and
excesses of capitalism. This I promise you.
- Thank you, and may God continue to bless the wealthy
- Jason Miller is a 38 year old activist writer with a
degree in liberal arts. He works in the transportation industry, and is
a husband and a father to three boys. His affiliations include Amnesty
International, the ACLU and the Americans United for Separation of Church
and State. He welcomes responses at email@example.com or comments
on his blog at http://civillibertarian.blogspot.com/.