- Slats Grobnik left Sam's Tavern about
two months ago and hasn't been seen in public since. Slats dropped by his
favorite tavern for a quick beer after being released from an extended
30 day stay at a Denver gulag at the request of the U.S. Gestapo.
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- After the gulag experience, he realized
America had fallen over the cliff and there was no crawling back. He realized
the ship had sunk, the captain was 'drunk-nuts' and loonies were running
naked in the White House using the Constitution for toilet paper.
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- So Slats retired to his red brick Chicago
bungalow, wondering whether to drink his life away watching NBA basketball
or do something positive.
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- If America was normal, he would have
chosen the former. But since things were going haywire, he chose the later.
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- So Slats, the most unlikely of candidates
to awaken the masses, set out to enlighten his fallen, brainwashed brothers
and sisters. And by no means was it an easy task, as he spent the first
two weeks at home finishing up a case of Old Style, waiting patiently for
the Miami Heat and Shaq to win the NBA title.
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- With the series over in six, Slats knew
he had till next year before the playoffs started to get the job done so
he spent the next two weeks reading Don Quixote and several other inspirational
books in order to prepare his plan.
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- He also read about all the patriots on
the war path in America, rallying here and riding motorcycles there, hoping
to end the spiral unstoppable horror being propagated in Washington. He
read about the 9/11 truth symposiums, thinking how he went to many JFK
rallies in the 70s and 80s, finally opting to stay home after becoming
tired of listening to speaker after speaker rant on and on while justice
was never being served.
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- He then continued reading about all the
political, scientific and medical experts, fighting fascism with big words
and high-fangled theories of freedom and justice. Slats had also grown
tired of big words, as it usually indicated the 'fix was in' once the hot
air cleared off the table.
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- He then found an article about Frosty
Wooldridge riding his motorcycle cross country for freedom, which he rather
liked, but decided against a similar course of action since he never had
ridden a motorcycle.
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- For rest of story and more informative
articles, go to www.arcticbeacon.com
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