Domestic Management -
Traditional Role Of
The Mother Returning

By Ted Twietmeyer

We've all seen this - a water or gas utility truck parked on the side of the road in a rainstorm. Three or four helmeted supervisors (usually wearing white hats) are standing there chatting. One man is down in the ditch, digging away in the mud to find the pipe. Perhaps this is a classic case of "too many chiefs and not enough Indians?"
Wherever people live, work or play together, some type of management structure is required to prevent pandemonium. One of the touchiest of places for structure is in the domestic environment. What I'm about to say isn't intended to inflame anyone. But once the N.O.W. movement succeeded infiltrating society, the divorce rate began to increase everywhere. This is simply a fact. And yes, I confess to the world I'm one of those sick, twisted males -  a male who thinks a happy family and a wonderful wife is the root of all happiness. Will those women with crew cut hair cuts forgive me of that demented idea? Probably not. All they need is a year's supply of batteries.
Phyllis Schlafly
The lady shown above authored the amazing book titled "Feminist Fantasies." (What's even more amazing, is that she's still breathing.) One look at her and one can see that she radiates an energy - she actually enjoys being a LADY, and not a "woman." 
Cover of Phyllis Schlafly's book
(Note: Greek female symbol not added.)
The term "woman" generates a mental image of someone beating clothes on rocks to wash them, or a matron in a prison with 12" biceps. An advocate of the family since 1972, Phyllis has been on numerous radio shows to explain the focus of her book. What I have heard her state on radio is that "the feminists of the NOW movement and other movements like it, are today almost all divorced, still single and indeed, just plain miserable." (Quotation here is as accurate as this male brain can achieve. Any errors are not my fault.) Why was the N.O.W. so popular? It may be that the movement gave women everywhere a cause - something important to stand behind, something to believe in and to be a part of. All that women had to do to participate, was to learn a few new catch phrases like "you chauvinist pig," "what a chauvinist pig," "who do you think you are?" and "I'm insulted you held that door open for me."
As for Phyllis, one can imagine her cooking dinner... so it was ready when her husband came home. And perhaps she still does. To today's liberated WOMAN, if a man asked for her to have dinner ready when he came home, it would be more than sufficient cause for her to take an electric drill on the top of every beer can in the house. Just a tiny little hole, big enough to flatten the beer. Then she will sit back to enjoy the pure ecstasy of adrenaline, when a basketball or football game comes on and her husband reaches for a beer to help him scream at the television. (American males are born knowing that televisions are really two-way devices - players really can hear the fans yelling at them from Duluth, Minnesota or Anchorage, Alaska whenever they drop the ball.)
Is it really such a crime to desire domestic happiness? In today's society misery doesn't just love company, it thrives upon it. We have endless horror movies, and television shows with smart mouthed children that smile while they create trouble between parents. While some parents may get a thrill from watching that drivel, they often fail to realize that the little people of the house (not dwarves, but small children) are watching it too. And by watching it, they learn how to become a smart mouth. They will imitate it sooner or later. Then parents try to explain to these young minds that "that show on TV isn't real life, but make believe. Don't talk that way son, OK?" This is equivalent to a judge perking up on the bench when hearing something verboten spoken by a witness, then saying to the jury "the jury will ignore that last remark." All of this correction is right up there on the same of level as attempting to glue an eggshell back together when the raw egg hits the floor, and then put the yolk back in. Good luck.
We have forgotten just how life really was better in the 1950's. It was the best decade in the last 100 years of America. The country was booming when the war ended. Jobs returned which were slowly filled by returning soldiers and sailors, and people were actually HAPPY. There was no permanent loss of jobs to China. Married life had far fewer problems than we have today. No cell phones, un-rated television shows (which should be X rated,) no video games, drug use was almost non-existent and children didn't have the vicious tongues they have today. Children actually did something almost unheard of today - they actually played OUTSIDE, not in a chat rooms talking to someone who isn't who they say they are. And what about the Ladies of the fifties? They were far more happier than they are today. People could actually look forward to RETIREMENT, even retiring early. We could go on and on.
The vitriol and filth we are exposed to daily isn't just a bad idea. It damages the very fiber of our being, and leaves an ugly stain up our personalities. It has been said that "You are who your friends are." But today, we are also what shows up in text and images on the very screen you're reading this on. It has a very strong, profound influence on us which is far deeper than most people even realize. It has been known for many years that the smarter someone is,the easier it is to brainwash them. We have replaced the Bible and it's wonderful values that bring happiness with movies, books and pictures that illustrate iniquity, depravation, sickness and filth.
Below is an article sent to me by my daughter, which was first printed in 1955. It was the impetus for writing this essay, and it provides a draconian view of what a wife was supposed to be. Women: be warned it is extreme in scope, leaving almost no aspect of married life out:
(Areas marked with a felt marker or pencil were like that when she received it)

For many women today, these concepts would be horrifying. Just the thought of trying to make their husband happy, even if they don't have to work, is a big problem. "What kind of madness is this?" they will cry out in pain. But if you step back and take a look at the principles listed - are they ALL unattainable? All we need to do is to replace the word "him" with "him/her." Now the feminists can calm down, and their blood pressure will return from the stratosphere. They will realize that they too, can receive kindness and consideration. Today, there is a quiet exodus of college graduates looking at their current and future lives, and discovering that a traditional role as a mother isn't such a bad deal after all. In fact, many women have quit their professions soon after entering them to become stay-at-home moms. They have found ways to make it economically practical, simply by doing without certain luxuries. These mothers realize the value of building a relationship with their children - instead of their children building a relationship with a day care center worker.

As for my life - am I a hypocrite on these matters? No. My wife and I refused to have "latch key kids" as they were called 30 years ago. It was an expression describing children that come home from school, and have door keys to get it. Then those children wait another two or three hours for mother or father to come home. Yes, money was tight for us and we did without trips to Disney world, 3,000 square foot home and yearly cruises.  Through most of our married life we owned just one car. We live in a modest home we hand built ourselves, and rented the first 10 years we were married. We have never regretted any of this. Today, few people actually live within their income. They *think* they can continue to refinance credit cards by moving balances around. But this is equivalent to pouring nitroglycerine from one container to another. The problem is that it's still there, waiting to detonate. Many even foolishly think its fashionable to be in debt. They will pay a terrible price for living this way, far sooner than they think when detonation occurs. Even though the US government can spend more than it takes in, we cannot. We can't print money.
It isn't material possessions that make a marriage, but pure love given unselfishly to one another. Making deals or social bartering where if one does something, the other must do something in return. This can rapidly escalate out of control. More than thirty years of marriage has shown all this is true.
And yes, I still cherish walking in the door after driving 38 miles home from work, and smell dinner cooking. The highlight of my day? To see her smiling face, despite the intense physical pain she suffers with every day from a serious illness - is both eternal and priceless to me. I may be picked up one day and shipped to a camp, never to return home or see my wife or family again. But the wonderful memories I have for eternity? They can never take those memories away from me.
Ted Twietmeyer
I like the article, I'm going to send it to Monica - she is the one who sent the first article to me.  She had the same feeling I did - that I wanted to be that wife that had dinner waiting and looked nice when my husband gets home!  What's wrong with that? After working all day, he has to have something to look forward to!
Dear Ted,
I enjoy reading your input on  Thanks especially for your latest.  I'd write more, but I'm getting ready to go to FL to see my kids and the first grandbaby, born yesterday.  It is a relief to see what you have written, a solace to the heart to know that that is still out there. 
Karen E.  
Hello Ted,
I read your article with interest.  It made me have even more admiration for my own mother than I had previously.  My mom, who is now a very youthful 89 and still the backbone of our family, was married for 57 years to my dad until his death 13 years ago.   She was a career woman extraordinaire.  She was actually the main breadwinner in the family.  My dad made enough so that she didn't have to work at all, but being highly gifted intelectually, she would have withered on the vine if forced into the life you seem to think is the only correct path for a woman who wants a family.  Because of my mother's efforts in the workplace, my sister and I were able to attend Catholic schools where we received a superior education.  My mom, because of her high position in what was then the (name deleted) Company in Santa Monica, was able to take off work whenever she needed to and was thus able to attend all my school functions, and to serve on the board of directors of the school (the only woman to do so, as this was back in the 60's and 70's).
My sister and I became accomplished musicians as well thanks to our mother's work.  My dad was secure enough in his manhood to feel not the least bit threatened by a high-achieving wife.  My sister and I became productive, law-abiding citizens.  My sister, in fact, became the homemaker you idealize.  My mom taught us never to denigrate the choices of another person, and most of all, never to denigrate the homemaker.  She always told us that, unless someone is paying your bills, they have no right to criticize you.  She herself was criticized plenty for working instead of staying home, but she didn't worry too much about that. 
I myself became an engineer. I also married and have three grown children, who love me for who I am.  They are all productive, law-abiding people.  The problems I encountered with them are not very different from those of my sister, who never worked after the first of her four kids were born.  My husband, also an engineer, and I are divorcing but remain best friends and will stay that way for the rest of our lives.  You see, he wants to spend his retirement in a place that would be a slow death for me.  We respect one another enough to allow each other to do what will promote our mutual growth and well-being. 
What exactly do you know about Phyllis Schlafly?  When exactly in the midst of her domestic bliss did she have time to earn a JD degree and become a prime mover in politics?  Why do I detect a bit of a double standard when it comes to this woman? 
Anyway, my point here is that no one would dream of telling a man that he must be a plumber, or a lawyer, or a mechanic, or an executive, but people feel quite free to tell women what they should and shouldn't do.  Very interesting. 
Thanks for taking the time to read my views. 
Take care, Karen E.
Any woman (mother with a husband) worth her salt knows she is the backbone of her household, her family and the next generation. (A wise husband knows it too, and under his dominion, we are loved and appreciated, not slaves to his wants.) A marvellous man, Peter Marshall, sermon listed on the net, called married mothers Keepers of the Springs. If it noted in this day and age, we truly know we are unafforable to any business, because we do it all, all the time. Not for work, not for something to do, but for love. Love of our Lord, our husbands (if we have picked the right man) and love for our God given gifts, our children.



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