- I was not much in the Christmas Spirit this year, perhaps
just feeling my age and with the mind-numbingly stupid political nonsense
surrounding the season dragging my soul into the muck -- that is, until
a woman passed me in the local supermarket during the five o'clock bustle.
My internal dialog was one, long, self-centered grumble and I didn't even
realize it until she passed. Her toddler in the bask-cart seat was blurting
out in song with complete glee, "we ish you a merry kismus, we ish
you a merry kismus, an a happy new rear..!"
-
- His little cherubic face just burned straight through
all the commercial crapola and political tripe and seasonal blues and it
just flat hit me. Suddenly, like every year about this time, I was filled
with the 'kismus' Spirit and couldn't contain my joy. I think I smiled
so broadly at the child that he couldn't help but stop singing to take
a little bow. I commented to the mother, "Well, SOMEBODY is sure in
the Christmas Spirit, eh?" She seemed slightly embarrassed by her
crooning little cowboy's lyrics, but I could tell down deep she was effected
the same way I was. Such things just kick away the sawdust and renew you
to a whole new perspective, at least if you have any soul left at all.
My aching back wasn't there anymore, my tension headache gone, the internal
grumble suffocated back to hell by an internal chorale of angels singing
In Excelsis Deo and I quietly begged forgiveness for being such an ungrateful
son to my Heavenly Father and felt the warmth of His peace, and the surety
of His merciful loving kindness, overwhelm me -- yet again. It's something
He has always generously lavished upon those who love Him, despite our
pathetic selfish and sinful habits.
-
- How easy it is to be overcome by darkness! The everyday
darkness that comes upon layer by layer like mortar, bricking us inside
a dark and nameless grave of our own making. And yet one little light,
one touch of the pure and innocent, brings it all crumbling down.
-
- Later that evening, I found myself contending with a
friend who was steeped in darkness; his entire heart and mind overcome
with sadness, anger and frustration. All he could see was evil and destruction,
death and despair, hopelessness and pain everywhere he looked. "You
know what I did," he said, "I asked God some time back, 'If you're
really there and you really love us, show me something to demonstrate that
love, 'cause I don't see it.' And you know what happened? I woke up the
next morning and that damned Typhoon had swept something like ten thousand
people out to sea. Are you gonna sit there and tell me he loves us?"
-
- The anger in his voice was familiar. I remember feeling
much the same way, many years ago. I understood his frustration. And I
also understood that he would not understand my answer as well... "Yes,"
I said, "Even there, even in that horrible catastrophe, God's love
is there. It's not something the human mind can comprehend. It requires
the Spirit of God to set us free from the entanglements of this world and
this life, our nature is clinging to this material moment, and His Spirit
allows us to embrace the divine which is not catering to our extremely
limited comprehension of fair play and justice. Our understanding of love,
of justice, is utterly warped; we plod along as best we can, but you're
talking about an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God -- you can't judge
Him by human standards. God knows everything. You and I know absolutely
nothing in comparison. That's why the scriptures say we walk by faith,
not by sight. If we go by what we see and hear, we're in big trouble. We
have to recognize that God is in control, He has a plan, He does love us.
He has demonstrated that love time and time again, and by Christ you have
the ultimate expression of that love; We have to have faith that such a
being knows what He is doing."
-
- "So why does He let crap like that happen? He could
stop it!" he said back.
-
- "Yes, He could. Just as much as Christ could have
caused the nails to eject from his hands and feet and step right down off
the cross like the wicked thief tempted him to do... but something bigger
was going on, something that was not immediately apparent. What looked
in the moment like nothing but pointless injustice and merciless suffering
was the very redemption and salvation of the entire world. Did anyone there
recognize that? Perhaps three people, tops... everyone else was sneering,
cursing him, laughing, considering it a just act, even a Godly thing to
do, putting a wicked insurrectionist magician to death for the sake of
Israel... all the disciples fled but John. And even John was not fully
cognizant of what was happening at that moment, any more than Christ's
own parents were the night he was born, despite angelic visitations and
visions, and later the Magi from other countries coming to worship him
before he was even of age -- it still didn't register. We don't see the
big picture, we are broken in that way. You are wanting God to be the instant
happiness magician who rights every wrong right now and always in your
time, by your totally limited understanding and perception. That's not
how it works. It can't work that way. Can you imagine a universe run by
pathetic human intellect and desire?!"
-
- "Well, I don't buy that. That's a crock of crap.
He's God, He's in control, it's His doing, His fault." He grumbled.
-
- "Look, I hate to get ridiculously elementary on
you, but did you ever see that silly little movie with George Burns, 'Oh
God'?"
-
- "Yeah...vaguely remember it..."
-
- "There was a sequel, Oh, God Book 2 or whatever.
Remember the little kid asked God, 'why do you let bad things happen?'
Do you remember his answer?"
-
- "Nah..."
-
- "The writer had God give a rather profound and utterly
true reply to a huge question. He said, 'That's one thing I could never
figure out. How to make something with only one side. Ever see a front
without a back? A top without a bottom? High without low? Same thing. It's
built into the system. You want good, you gotta have bad. If I take away
sad, happy goes with it. It's a package deal."
-
- The answer is always something simple. Ultimate truth
is always something even a little child can grasp.
-
- "Yeah...I remember that ... vaguely... and, yeah,
I see the point..." he conceded, "But why the hell did he start
all this crap in the first place if he knew it would be this way?"
-
- My mind flashed on the little boy in the baskart merrily
singing without the slightest self-consciousness, full of joy and expectation.
Would God create a universe and all which that entails for that one lovely
little moment to exist? A universe where good and wonderful things could
happen, that required the balance effect of bad and terrible things, too?
Could anyone fully realize the multitude of moments exactly like that
the world over and from the dawn of time to the present, all cascading
down in an amazing torrent of beautiful, wonderful, exuberant life? Is
it worth it? Is the "package deal" necessary for this to be?
For us to learn what we're here to learn and experience what God wants
us to experience? Those little moments of joy and love and peace and happiness
and truth and the spark of the divine... like candles in the dark, illuminating
the black universe one by one by one... Is that why God started it all?
-
- The answer to that was also simple. "He started
it because God is love. And maybe because God is love he can see that all
of this in the end will result in something gloriously good and wonderful
-- God created a universe, established its laws and created beings in his
own image and likeness to share it with. We screwed things up and right
now we're in a period of probation, a period of reform. It's not comfortable
right now. It's far from paradise... but for everything that stinks, everything
that is horrible, there are millions of wonderful, good things. It's a
package deal... and it's being controlled by a God who is perfect love
and perfect justice. All of that is in balance. Naturally, from our perspective,
it's not going to look very balanced. We don't see the end from the beginning
and the beginning from the end like God does.
-
- We see high and low, up and down, pleasure and pain,
and for some reason the low, the bad, the pain sticks with us easier than
the good, the wonderful and lovely. It's up to us to make every difference,
not God. He has placed this domain in our hands, and He has shown great
faith in us, even in a fallen spiritual state, to manage it to that end.
Somehow, out of the muck and mire, civility and decency and morality and
honesty and empathy, even love, hope, faith and charity have all come into
being and are thriving in the broken human race. You must admit, that alone
is a shocking miracle! There are some things outside of our control, yes...
but then again, He tells us to pray, to seek His face. How much do we actually
cause and how much do we control things seemingly outside of our control
just by faith -- and yet, we never realize it? We have to live in faith,
otherwise, we will be overtaken by hopelessness, by doubt, by darkness."
-
- My friend was resolute to remain angry and bitter, as
many are want to do. I could only pray that by God's Spirit he will be
given a tender heart again, open to the light, open to the Spirit of truth,
to that precious blessing of a heart imbued with a burning confidence in
God and His great plan, especially at this time when the season reminds
us of that incredible purpose, through the incarnation and the light which
"enlightens every man;" to the tender heart Christ Jesus spoke
of when he told us, "Unless you become as little children, you shall
not see the Kingdom of God."
-
- We have to become like that little tyke in the shopping
cart -- absolutely simple in spirit, humble in our dependence upon The
Father, and preferably overjoyed with expectation and with what blessings
He bestows upon us in His wisdom, with our hearts singing from the bask-cart
of our life as we are pushed down the isle during the maddening bustle
of complex, confusing, confounding everyday-life with all its distractions,
disappointments and drudgery, wishing everyone a 'merry kismus and a happy
new rear.'
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