- I remember 911. I remember it well. I remember the morning
of 9/12. I remember Ground Zero. I remember meeting only one First Responder.
I asked him if I could have his help moving some boulders so that I and
those with me could place radio repeaters; devices which would help police
and fire supervisors communicate with each other more easily.
-
- I remember his face, even through the equipment mask
and goggles. I remember his telling me, "Sorry, Sir. You can't move
those 'boulders' because they ain't boulders. They're the remains
of those who died in this 'f---ing' mess." I looked more closely.
I remember seeing flesh and blood. The blood was dark, dark red. Almost
black. I remember.
-
- Then I remember going back into the communications van,
the one which brought us to Ground Zero so that we could help. I remember
seeing the man with the box of Marlboro's, smoking his brains out.
I remember. I remember wanting one, even after nearly 18 years of being
smoke free. I had to have one. Even if it was just to put in my mouth unlit.
Then I needed to light it up.
-
- I figured, "Hey, whathehell! It's gonna taste bad
and I am going to choke after one drag." I remember saying that to
myself before breaking down and weeping like a child for at least a half
hour. The scenes at ground zero precluded my remaining anything but hurt
and extraordinarily sad.
-
- The man with the Marlboro gave me one. I lit up and took
a long drag. I did not choke. It went down as smooth as if I'd never quit.
-
- I've been smoking since. I remember.
-
- After the event, immediately after, I remember seeing
everyone displaying the American Flag everywhere. At their homes, on their
cars and even the State Police carried the Flag on their cruisers.
-
- That lasted maybe three of four months. I remember. I
remember seeing fewer and fewer of those flags as the months flew by. Now,
some six years after the disaster, no one, practically no one has the Flag
on their cars or for that matter, anywhere else.
-
- I remember being about ten years old and the flag flying
every day at our house. On the flag pole in front of our home. Dad brought
that flag up and down every day. On arrival home from work, he brought
it down, folding it carefully and lovingly. I remember.
-
- Today, no one displays anything except perhaps the rancor
of the times. "Bush is a bastard! Clinton is a pig, Republicans are
ass holes, Democrats are worse."
-
- On and on. But no flag. No heart for America. I
remember. And I shall remember all my life, how times and attitudes changed
over the decades. I remember America the way it was and should have been.
I remember Americans being loyal and patriotic. I remember.
-
- But I will never ever remember anything as vividly as
Ground Zero on the morning of 9/12. It was like walking on the moon,
with a thick layer of dust consisting of powdered concrete and steel which
actually turned to dust. I remember that.
-
- I remember the dust. I remember the flesh. I remember
the cooked blood. I remember the tears and the frustration of being angry
and feeling as if I could kill whatever or whomever did that most terrible
deed. I remember. And I remember knowing that there are those who believe
the worst. That it was our own government did that deed.
-
- I remember too, that whomever was responsible, will pay
with their souls some day. There is nothing they can do to be forgiven
by men. Only God can forgive. Maybe.
-
- Morty
-
-
- Morty, AKA,
- Jim Mortellaro
- www.MortysCabin.net
- Morty@MortysCabin.net
- or JSMortell@aol.com
-
|
