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Blow-Happy Rabbis Make Fun
Of Blow-Hard Catholics

By Michael James in Germany, writing "La Sátira"
5-5-10
 
One of Israel's most senior and respected rabbis, Schlobo Bombinski, on an impromptu and lavishly taxpayer-funded visit to Germany, has angrily denied charges that the traditional rabbinic practice of sucking the penises of freshly-circumcised young boys is in any way comparable to that of the "filthy Catholic practice" of seducing "Zionist-hating" Christians.
 
In reference to a multitude of reports following an earlier MSNBC Television disclosure that rabbis are transmitting genital herpes to young boys after having viciously lacerated their sexual organs [1], Bombinski lashed out at what he described as "a catastrophic tsunami of worldwide anti-Semitism based upon a misunderstood conception of the love that religiously inspired Jewish rabbis entertain toward young boys born into the same faith."
 
And in fierce response to the accusation that, "You have to realize what we're dealing with isn't some special 'chosen people', but instead is a tribe of raging homosexual pedophiles [2]", Bombinski made a dramatic appeal to the German media to focus more on the "behind every lamppost" Catholic abuse of young choristers and give even greater attention to his credit card number, additionally providing his international bank transfer code, saying: "Six million euros would be small recompense to the holocaust of my sensibilities for this blatantly anti-Semitic libel."
 
Furthermore, after having won a three-hour standing ovation after a speech delivered to the German Parliament and having denied the very existence of a people who have the audacity to refer to themselves as "Palestinians," Bombinski unexpectedly broke down in tears and paid homage to the estimated 200,000 Germans agonisingly destroyed by a firestorm unleashed on the unwitting citizens in Dresden in February 1945.
 
"We Jews," he told the told fawning politicians and reporters "are a Light Unto the World. We only kill little Palestinian children to save them from a life of poverty, squalor and disease. Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you about my American Express Card number?"
 
The outspoken rabbi's comments have provoked consternation among many of Germany's leading Catholic Bishops. One, whom, refuses to be named for fear of imprisonment said: "The Israelis have had it in for us ever since the Vatican sent an independent team of observers to Gaza in the wake of their continuing, unwarranted and psychopathically inspired attacks upon the innocent people of that unfortunate strip and the destruction of their schools, housing, food suppliers, hospitals and sanitation services, which included the use of flesh-eating white phosphorous gases and depleted uranium munitions. They have never forgiven us." [3]
 
However, the Rabbi's comments were welcomed in a statement issued by German Chancellor Angela Merkel as a vindication of the "horrific and unjustifiably irrational persecution of a really loving, generous and very cute Muppet-looking people who were cruelly dismembered, tortured, barbecued, abducted by blonde-haired aliens from Pleiades, and turned into energy-saving light bulbs during the criminal, full-employment Third Reich when everyone was forced to be happy, healthy, well-fed, secure and optimistic about a non-usurious future."
 
German Foreign Secretary, Guido Westerwelle, accompanied by his male partner, Michael Mronz, on a flight to an unknown red-light destination in downtown Tel Aviv, also endorsed Frau Merkel's heartfelt statement. "I loved Sesame Street too, especially Kermit the Frog," he emphasized. "That's why I'm a politician."
 
"Like me, the German people have always bent over backwards to accommodate the Jewish people every inch of the way," he told reporters in the hastily vacated toilet of a lavishly taxpayer-funded Lufthansa flight. "We shall continue to have the backs big enough to do everything we can to take fully within us their desire to discharge of themselves all that they wish. All Jews, having free passage, are welcome to come into Germany, penetrate our innermost feelings and then help us wipe away the stains of the climactic past. There is a very big shaft of kindness for the Jews in Germany and we must never permit them to feel that we shall ever allow them to withdraw their reciprocal comeliness."
 
Tensions have sharpened radically between the Roman Catholic Church and the State of Israel in the wake of shocking revelations that Pope Benedict is not only German, but also a former commandant of Auschwitz who personally supervised the mass murder of exactly* six million Jews in a 'Bake and Take' camping stove in just one day, and who is also suspected of having ordered the musically choreographed and Hollywood-directed rape of an eerily similar number of innocent pro-Semitic choirboys.
 
Reports are hitting the wire that the Israeli government is now investigating allegations that all Catholics are working secretly in league with "Grey aliens" to destroy the ecstasy manufacturing drug laboratories, and the child prostitution and snuff-video cartels that operate, tax-free, out of Tel Aviv.
 
No doubt this explains recent Daily Telegraph reports as to why the Israeli "Defence" Force, has been issued by their government with leaflets advising them that Catholic missionaries are actively inciting the Free People of Palestine (the True owners of the Land) to instigate acts of insurgency against the illegal Ashkenazi occupiers, although no such leafleting has ever taken place. Still, shit sticks; and rumour has it that Israel is nothing but.
 
Charlotte Knobloch, President of the Central Council of Jews Parasiting in Germany ZJD/CCJPIG), has welcomed the debate as an opportunity to mend ecumenical bridges.
 
"The fact is," she says, "Jesus Christ was a skinhead and a well-known Nazi. Some of Judaism's most sacred engravings on view to the public in the Yad Vashem Memorial crafted, well, I dunno, maybe thirty years ago, quite clearly depict this Jesus guy wearing Doctor Martin boots and a Lonsdale jacket. All of his disciples wore Swastika armbands and were busy building outdoor camping stoves. We know this from scripture written, I dunno, maybe after that Spielberg movie, so it's gotta be true. And this is my VISA card number. But cash will do nicely."
 
Abe Foxman, a well-known American Patriot who loves all Americans, so long as they're Jews and have his bank account details, concurs. "Hey, you know folks," he was once heard saying during an AIPAC meeting, "I was talking to my old buddy, Johhny Hagee, and I said to this Christian-Zionist Schmuck: You know Johnski, how we gonna fuck these Goyim while we've got this asshole in the Whitehouse? You know where I'm coming from?"
 
"Well, you know this fucking, bible-bashing nutcase son-of-a-bitch kisses every hair on our sweet little asses, and he's got this kinda Israel is 'cute and candy' sort of deal going with those Sunday pill heads who listen to his sales pitch. You gotta laugh at these Fundie guys. Sells a heap of crap and sends it right into the barrels of our IDF boys who take every goddamned organ they can harvest, you know what I mean?"
 
"So he tells me: 'You know, Abesky, I think we can cut a deal. The only folks out there helping these goddamned original always-been-there Israelite Palestinians are the Catholics'." [4]
 
"Oi, vey, oi vey! See what you mean, Johnski," I said. "Like your thinking. What's the big smart?"
 
"Hey, get this, fellas: These Hagee assholes . well, they kinda know that we Ashkenazi Jews are fakey-fakey. But, they got influence and love our big bucks. We gotta use 'em for every dime, and then take these losers out."
 
"Well, this asshole, Hagee. You know what he does? He just says, 'Hey, Abesky, we're all into kids. You know what I mean? But we're kind of neat about it with the boys in the government who count. The big shots. And they hate Catholics. Remember Kennedy? And guess what? I gotta a file one mile deep'."
 
"So this Hagee jerk makes like he's looking all holy and proper, you know, but I guess this freak is adding it all to his investment fund. These fuckers crucify me laughing. I own the fund and it's about to hit a government-funded bail-out."
 
"Then he turns round to me and says, 'Abesky, you guys own the media one-hundred percent. I think we got a deal. I can hack it. You know my credit card number. If I like what I see, you're gonna be happy. God bless Israel!'."
 
And God Bless little Jewish children who suffer viciously painful genital mutilation and then the faces of insane bearded freaks giving them paedophiliac blow-jobs and life-long herpes.
 
 
----------
 
Mike James, an English republican patriot, is a blacklisted former freelance journalist resident in Zionist-occupied Germany since 1992 with additional long-haul stays in East Africa, Poland and Switzerland, now working in an automobile factory. He advocates a Leaderless Resistance to destroy the Soviet European Union and prays for a free and independent England, shorn of all alliances with the EU, UK, NATO, the UN, WTO, IMF, Israel and any other treacherous international cabal or entity.
 
 
[1] http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6898403/
[2] http://www.subvertednation.net/jews-suck-baby-penises/
[3] http://blog.beliefnet.com/pontifications/2009/01/gaza-stripconcentration-camp.html
[4] http://www.welfarestate.com/nwo/smear-church.htm
 
 
 
* Official statistics never lie. But official lies are always statistics.
 
All history is pure fiction. Second, third, fourth-hand reportage. Perjury is a crime punishable by up to ten years imprisonment. Fight 'statistics' with philosophy and intuitive logic. You ain't experienced it: it never happened. Trust nobody but God. You have a right to be a free human being with the ability to think and reason for yourself!

 
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