- THE COYOTE
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- California
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- The Governor of California is jogging with his
dog along a nature trail.
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- A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then
bites the Governor.
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- 1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects
upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because
the coyote is only doing what is natural.
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- 2. He calls animal control . Animal
Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases
and $500 for relocating it.
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- 3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects
the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
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- 4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500
getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound
bandaged.
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- 5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months
while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area
is now free of dangerous animals.
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- 6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing
a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
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- 7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study
how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease
throughout the world.
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- 8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not
stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train
a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
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- 9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a
$5 million suit against the State.
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- TEXAS
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- The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along
a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
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- 1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued
pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP
hollow point cartridge.
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- 2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
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- And that is why California is broke and Texas is
not.
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