An imagined conversation with God...

Troubled Man: God. God. Are you there?
No answer.
Troubled Man: Are you there?

God: Whadda yah want?
Troubled Man: Oh, thank heaven. You're there.

God: Whadda yah want?
Troubled Man: God, tell me please; why am I here?

God: Cause that's where I put yah!
Troubled Man: No, I mean, what's my purpose for being here?

God: I don't know. That's your business.
Troubled Man: No. You must have had a reason for putting us here.

God: Yes, I did.
Troubled Man: Well, what was it?

God: Well, to be truthful, to see if I could improve upon the monkey a little.
Troubled Man: That's it?

God: That's it!
Troubled Man: But, but what are we supposed to do with our lives?

God: That's your business.
Troubled Man: But you must have given us a purpose.

God: No. I am too busy creating billions of you. I can't be concerned about what your gonna do with yourselves. I did improve upon the monkey a tiny bit by giving you all a slightly larger brain, one you have to use to create your own purpose.
Troubled Man: Does each one of us have a purpose?

God: I told you. It's up to each one of you. Listen, your brain is designed to be self-starting. It's not like a car battery where you have to call on me to jump start it. so, quit bugging me. quit whining, and get started.
Troubled Man: don't you answer our prayers?

God: I put them in the 'In' basket!.
Troubled Man: You know, you've never once answered one of mine.

God: do you know how big that 'In' basket is. It's the size of Jupiter. And the truth is, yours are way down at the bottom of the list, and if I ever do get around to looking at them, it'll probably be just for laughs.
Troubled Man: That's cruel to us.

God: Certainly not as cruel as you guys are to each other. And you know why I usually don't answer prayers"?
Troubled Man: Why?

God: Because the whining and begging and pleading I hear from you all outnumbers the 'Thank You's' by about a billion to one!
Troubled Man: Oh, I'm sorry.

God: O.K. The long and short of it is this: I gave you a Life; now you go get one for yourself!
THUNDER...AND OUT!